


The Brothers

by linumlea



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bagginshield is VERY background, Dwarves as Scots, Dís is helping them, Fíli and Kíli Are Little Shits, Fíli and Kíli as highschoolers, Gen, M/M, OFC and OMC are minor, absolutely zero angst, the only purpose of this work is to make you laugh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 20:27:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3783322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linumlea/pseuds/linumlea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written as an art-trade, this fanfic is a gift to lovely <a href="http://diamond-skeleton.tumblr.com">diamond-skeleton</a>. She was so kind as to help me with grammatical and punctuation mistakes (English is not my first language), thank You so, so much, my dear!<br/>She has also done a very fine fanart of the Durin's family in kilts:  <a href="http://diamond-skeleton.tumblr.com/post/116459654061/four-scots-and-one-englishman-for-the-amazing">“Four Scots and one Englishman”</a>. Please do check it out!</p><p>First of my fanfics ever published, all criticisms is welcomed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Brothers

## Monday

"What year is it?" Kíli asked, voice absurdly low from sleep, as he staggered into kitchen. Fíli looked at him through half lifted eyelids and thought. I took him a minute or so to process, but finally he shook his head, "Dunno. I'm pretty sure it's Monday though, is all." His brother groaned exaggeratedly, flopping down at the table. Some thought suddenly struck him and he struggled to verbalize it for a moment, while looking at the clock on the wall in front of him as if it had personally offended him.

"Ridiculous," he shook his head. Fíli gazed at him questioningly, so he elaborated,"This is ridiculous. The time. No one in their right mind would be up at this hour."

Their mother chose this very moment to stroll happily into the kitchen, humming something to herself and smiling as she took in the view of her sons. "Good morning!", Dís all but chirped. "Slept well?", she asked as she bustled around the kitchen, taking out some boxes and preparing what seemed to be sandwiches. She smiled again when both brothers groaned something in response. "You're both no good and it's already seven."

Fíli rolled his eyes, "Not everyone is an early bird like you, mom. I'm pretty sure you're the only person who gets up at ungodly hours out of your own will." His mother only tutted and urged them to finish their breakfast and get dressed. Nothing good would come out of missing classes, now would it?

Soon enough it was time to leave and Dís ushered the brothers out of their rooms. "You're going to be late! Go now and don't forget your lunch," she scolded them. "And drive safely!"

"Yet another great week," Kíli said grimly, when they finally got in the car. Fíli grunted in response, starting the engine.

His brother sprawled out on his seat, "Can't we just skip?"

"No. Mom will have our heads for it, you know it," Fíli disagreed and drove out on the road. Yet another great week, indeed. Another week of horrible, rainy, cold Scottish weather.

It could have been a peaceful drive, if Kíli hadn't decide to make a karaoke contest with himself as the only participant, just to cheer up. And if Fíli knew all the lyrics to all the pop songs on the radio, he didn't so much as squeak a word about it. Little did he know, however, about his brother's collection of certain videos.

As much as he wanted to keep it to himself, Fíli loved singing to popular music and did so whenever he could, meaning whenever he thought no one could hear or see him. But Kíli had a very efficient way of sneaking up on him unnoticed. Of course, Kíli was a very good brother and wouldn't show those little videos to anyone, but they served their purpose as a wonderful potential blackmail material - and this is extremely valuable among family, don't you think?

***

First class went mostly uneventfully, aside from Kíli falling asleep and snoring loudly as Ori, red and second-hand embarrased out of his wits, tried to wake him up without drawing too much attention. He was soon however startled awake by a well-aimed piece of chalk, thrown expertly by his maths teacher. That woman had an amazing aim, Kíli was pretty sure she could completely wipe the floor with any bar darts expert if she chose to do so, unfortunately for him she preffered to pursue her career as a high school teacher. She was in quite a good mood that day and didn't even scold him for the obvious affront of falling asleep in her class, she did however hand him a maths contest flyer as he headed out of class.

He read it with a scowl, until he saw the prize section - his eyes literally lit up. Prizes were, well... unusually generous. "Easy win," he bragged to Ori as they walked down the hall. He had after all won two contests this year already.

Ori raised an eyebrow at his statement and pulled him down from his imaginary pedestal, sardonicaly pointing out that, indeed, an easy win it would be, if Kíli was the only contestant.

Such sassy comments came out of his mouth way easier now than before and Fíli accused Kíli of corrupting poor Ori, but Kíli knew better - Ori has always been sarcastic, now he simply grew more confident to not keep his thoughts to himself. Needless to say, Kíli was very proud of himself.

Still, Kíli pouted. "Don't you believe in me?" he whined, overdramatically touching the place on his chest above the heart, "I'm hurt, Ori. You're hurting my feelings, breaking my heart even," Kíli said, shaking his head. Ori snorted.

"It's your own doing, you know. You made him like that," came from behind when Fíli joined them, apparently on his way to his second class as well.

Ori furrowed his brow. "Excuse me," he interrupted exasperatedly, "No one 'made' me anything."

"Yeah, Fíli, don't belittle Ori," Kíli joined him. Fíli nodded his head in both apology and agreement, and stayed behind to talk to someone.

"Wait, what's our next class?" Kíli asked. Ori rolled his eyes, "One would think you memorize your schedule after three months. It's chemistry."

Kíli grinned. Why, he could work with chemistry - all those reagents waiting to be mixed and make a very nice boom. Yes, he will enjoy this, the teacher may not, but he certainly will.

***

While Fíli liked his chemistry class, he certainly didn't favour a two-hour block of maths coming after that. The only highlight was that he had only four classes in general on Mondays, which allowed him and Kíli some time before coming back home for dinner. Fortunately, English was last, and English was enjoyable enough - his teacher might have been a little crazy about cats, but at least she taught well. That Monday's class featured a fifteen-minutes lecture about cats in classic English literature - eye-opening, so to say.

Finally, all the classes have ended. Oh, how sweet the sound of bells is, only a student can tell. Perhaps some teachers as well, but as we have little insight into teachers' way of thinking, we can't confirm.

The brothers met by the front entrance and from there they headed to the nearest Starbucks. It was mutually agreed as a Monday ritual to go to a coffee shop before returning home, because, as Kíli reflectively pointed out at the beggining of the semester, "Mondays require copious amounts of coffee."

They both decided the booth in the back would be perfect and so they sat there after placing and receiving their orders.

Kíli fidgeted behind their table, before suddenly freezing. "Fee", he whispered and when his brother was yet to pay attention to him, he pulled his sleeve. "What?" Fíli almost snarled, when Kíli wouldn't stop bothering him - sometimes he had little patience for putting up with his brother's need for attention, especially when fighting those horrible maths problems. His teacher's fanatical advice to try to look at solving them as writing musical pieces didn't help, at all.

"Look", Kíli urged him, "There, by the counter!".

Fíli shook his head, not knowing what he was supposed to look at. "This girl, the redhead one!", his brother almost pointed.

Fíli gave mentioned girl a once-over, before turning to his brother with a bit of confusion. 'And?', he was going to ask, but one look at his brother's awed face told him all he needed to know.

"I'm gonna ask her out!" Kíli sprung up from their table and stormed off before Fíli could so much as pull him down. Really, his brother's light-headedness would get him in real trouble one day.

"Hey," said Kíli as he approached the redhead with what he thought was his charming smile.

The girl glanced at him with surprise, which soon turned into amusement, and nodded her head.

"Um, I'm Kíli," he tried to strike up a conversation.

The girl eyed him once again, "Tauriel. Hi."

"Tauriel? That's a nice name," the words slipped out of Kíli's mouth before he was able to stop himself. He could almost hear his brother mockingly snickering at this cheesy pick-up line.

Tauriel must have thought the same, because she turned her head away exasperatedly, "Yeah, thanks."

"Is there a problem?", a new voice came from behind Kíli. He turned around to see it's owner, only to find out the man looked every bit as smug as his voice sounded like.

"No, Legolas, thanks. There isn't," Tauriel said smoothly, "Kíli was just leaving." And Kíli left, making his special "kicked puppy" face as he made his way through the cafe.

Just as he expected, Fíli was completely cracking up back at their table. There will be no end to ridiculing him now, he knew it well.

As they watched Kíli leave, Tauriel sighed and turned to Legolas, "Thanks for saving me. Kinda awkward to get asked out by a guy seemingly two years younger than me," she quirked her eyebrows.

Legolas shrugged. "I wouldn't mind. He is kind of cute," he said with a straight face.

Tauriel mumbled something blankly as she mixed her coffee. Then she caught up. "Wait, what?!", she almost shouted. After staring for a at least a minute at Legolas, who was placing his order, she finally shook her head. "You should go ahead then. Ask him for a number or something."

"Nah, I'm already set with the barista," Legolas smirked when he heard Tauriel choking on her pumpkin spiced latte. He looked back at the man behind the counter and smiled when their eyes met. It was a good day.

 

 

## Tuesday

Fíli and Kíli strolled out of their school, falling deeply into discussion about the wretchedness of having two English classes in a row. The whole thing started after Kíli complained about having French day after day, but general grumbling about school continued well into their drive to the center of the town, where they were supposed to meet with their uncle. They had to hide it from their mother, however, as they were going to find gifts for her upcoming birtday. They finally found an unoccupied parking lot and started walking down the street leisurely, since there was still time before they were supposed to meet with Thorin.

They weren't far from the office when Kíli spotted Thorin's raven-black mane of hair. "Uncle!", he was going to shout excitedly before stopping midword. Was it just him or was their uncle kind of... flustered?

"Fee", he poked his brother on the side, "Look, it's uncle. But he looks off."

They both gaped at Thorin, when Fíli shot his brother a mocking look. "He looks like you, when you get your eyes on some pretty girl. Like that mermaid."

Kíli was going to snap at him, but got confused instead. "What mermaid?"

"That redhead girl at Starbucks, her name sounded like Ariel."

"You mean Tauriel!", Kíli groaned. "Will you ever let that go?"

His brother just shook his head with a smirk.

Much more interesting things, however, were going on in front of them, so they turned their attention back to Thorin. He was standing just by the entrance to his office with some other person, a small man with light-brown hair, who was dressed in an extravagantly coloured suit. Now that they were closer, they could see that their uncle was in suit as well, the best one at that, and was smiling in a way they never even suspected he could.

Finally Thorin looked up and noticed them.

"Hi uncle," Fíli said, before Kíli could open his mouth and possibly cause heart attacks to all the people around them with an erratic greeting. For a reason unknown to them, their uncle look a bit sheepish for a moment, but regained his composure soon enough to present them to the man yet to be named.

"My nephews, Fíli and Kíli," he introduced them and ruffled Kíli's hair as he said his name.

"Ah, the famous brothers. Bilbo Baggins, nice to meet you," the man said and smiled at them.

The smile was kind enough for the brothers to label him as a person who would laugh at their mischiefs, rather than give them a disgruntled look. They glanced at each other and smirked, simultaneously deciding to do their very special introduction.

"Fíli," said the older.

"And Kíli," said the younger.

"At your service", said both in unison and bowed theatrically at the same time.

Thorin sighed with renunciation, but their piece de résistance had won them a hearty laugh from Mister Baggins, which caused them to grin with just a little bit too much smugness.

When Mister Baggins calmed down, he turned back to Thorin. "Well then, I suppose we will see each other on Thursday, Mister Durin. It was very nice to meet you, Fíli, Kíli," he said, nodding respectively at each of the brothers. "Have a nice day," Mister Baggins smiled at them and nodded once again before taking off.

Thorin and his nephews said their goodbyes as well and watched the other man make his way down the street. Suddenly Kíli turned to their uncle with a sly smile on his face.

"Mister Boggins liked us, uncle. Aren't you glad?", he asked.

"Baggins, Kíli. And what is that supposed to mean, 'glad'?", Thorin squinted at him suspiciously. Fíli, however, resolutly stopped his brother from responding by kicking him in the shin.

"Nothing, uncle," he said, while Kíli hopped behind him. Thorin shook his head and waved for them to follow him as he walked back into the office.

"Why did you kick me?", Kíli hissed at his brother angrily.

Fíli looked at him with what he presumed was maturity. "Because you're a cabbagehead," he said and followed their uncle inside, ignoring his brother's "Hey!" and questions as to what exactly Kíli's head had to do with a vegetable like cabbage.

***

"Uncle, what's happening on Thursday?", Fíli asked with an innocuous look. They were currently walking down the perfume section of the shop, the mix of scents nearly dulling to all the rest of senses.

Thorin furrowed his brow at his nephew's attempt at acting innocent, but responded nevertheless. "There will be a dinner with representatives from Mister Baggins' and my companies. Why?"

If Fíli felt disappointed at his reply, he didn't show it. Kíli's face, however, was an open book - his pouting was as clear as day and this time his brother didn't quite make it in time to stop him. "I thought you would have dinner with Mister Boggins only."

His uncle looked a bit perplexed. "Baggins, Kíli, it's rude to mispronounce people's names", he said with a half-hearted irk, the idea of little tête à tête with Bilbo Baggins apparently not leaving him, though. "Why would I have dinner with Mister Baggins exclusively?"

Fíli's decision to jump on the matchmaking train might have been a stupid one, but he did it nonetheless. "It looked like you liked him", he said simply. 'And you were a bachelor for the past forty years, high time to settle down', he wanted to add, but luckily closed his mouth - he certainly didn't want to get himself killed.

Kíli, in contrast to his usual lack of consideration, remained silent as well. Did his survival skills finally kick in?

Thorin stared at them blankly, until understanding washed over his face and he almost rolled his eyes with a groan. "I think I know where you intend to go with that and I would really advise you to stop." Suddenly, he shuddered at some thought that occured to him and he turned to his nephews, a hair-width from growling, "Don't even think about mentioning Mister Baggins and your wild ideas to your mother or I swear," he said as he curled his fingers into a fist, "I will strangle you. To death."

Brothers, faces sligtly grimaced because of Thorin's threat, quickly nodded in agreement, but once their uncle turned away, Kíli grinned as sly as humanly possible. No, his skills were yet to kick in after all.

 

 

## Wednesday

The morning started cheerfully with both brothers running around the house, accusing each other of hiding their aprons for Arts classes. Those did however appear in the end - in the pile of clear loundry in their rooms, since both brothers had better things to do than folding and putting away their clothes. Obviously.

The foul mood couldn't possibly continue for long, so on the way to school Kíli asked, "You have Gaelic today too, right?"

Fíli nodded, "Yeah. Am I not glad uncle have been teaching us it since we were wee brats, saves a lot of trouble now."

"No shit," Kíli snorted, "Guess sometimes having a history buff in the family does have it's good sides. But, man, I hated it in the beggining."

"Yeah, me too. It's nice though - like having secret language, since pretty much no one speaks it."

Kíli laughed, "Ori once said, that when he first started learning it it sounded like Chinese for him. I have been helping him with it since he has little contact with it in general. At least our uncle knows it fluently, so he makes us speak in it."

"Ori has problems with something in school?" his brother asked incredulously, "I thought that was impossible."

"Hey, he is only human, you know. Besides, he is doing my chemistry homework in exchange."

Kíli shrieked when his brother smacked him on the back of the head, "What did you do that for?!"

"Stop making your friends do your school work for you, Kee, you won't know what is what during exams," Fíli snapped at him. "Besides, using him like that is not nice."

"But he asks me- alright, alright, I will stop!", Kíli raised his hands in defense, when he saw his brother reaching to smack him again. "I will tell him that, Scout' s honor."

Fíli scoffed. "You are no Scout. And you have no honor," he opposed.

Kíli looked at him, offended, the only thing stopping him from jumping to tackle his brother was the fact, that they were currently in a moving car. When they stop on school parking, however... Oh, the sweet revenge.

***

Kíli was just checking the time on his phone, when one of his classmates found her way to his side, "Oh my god, that cat is so cute! Is it yours?", she asked, which of course caused half of the group to gather around. Cats really do tend to be popular among people. Why did she make such a comment? Well, Kíli did have a picture of a cat saved as a background on his phone.

"Yeah, it's mine," he smiled, "He is called Spotty."

At least a few people flailed at such obvious cuteness, so he continued, "We found him on the street a few years ago, he was so small I could fit him in my hand," he showed, "Barely had his eyes opened. We took him to the vet and everything, and then he stayed with us."

"Awww..."

Kíli laughed, "Everyone in the family likes him. Fíli claims he doesn't, but I have seen Spotty sleeping with him in bed. And mom spoils him beyond reason, he gets milk and tuna every day, would you believe?"

Ori joined him, "Yeah, he is basically a furrowed, speckled ball of delight. Even your uncle likes him, doesn't he?"

"Likes? Are you kidding? He is absolutely crazy about it. He buys him some high-end cat food, they watch TV together. It's ridiculous, actually, for a single cat to tottaly rule the whole house."

Everyone was laughing at this point, not without understanding - because, well, cats. Most of the group moved along soon, with just two guys staying behind to talk to Kíli about that new game one of them bought the other day and to invite him over. As Kíli was looking forward to getting his hands on it, he eagerly accepted.

***

One of Fíli's classmates had been asking him about Gaelic, so he was sitting with him in the hallway, when Kíli approached them to say he wouldn't be going back home with Fíli. Fíli just nodded and went back to explaining pronunciation. Gaelic is wicked, no doubt about it.

After they were finished, his classmate leaned back and rubbed his eyes, "Man, aren't you lucky - my family barely knows a few words in it and I'm expected to speak it fluently."

Fíli could only smile in response. He and his brother were indeed lucky, even if they hadn't thought so when they were just a few years old. Thorin was terrorizing them then, making poor kids speak Gàidhlig every waking minute.

Brian, his classmate's name was, sat straight again as some thought struck him, "I forgot to tell you before! There is gonna be a one-day convention this weekend, on Saturday. Me and some of my mates, we are planning to go. If you want to tag along just tell me before Friday, I will have to make a reservation for tickets."

Fíli was quick to accept, as he learned it would be taking place in the afternoon - he didn't like to miss his kickboxing trainings in the morning. Travelling two towns over shouldn't be much of a problem as well. Little did Brian know, however, how much Fíli envied him his plain name. Not once and not twice was he called out on his, well, "unusual" name. It seemed to him that the tradition of peculiar names in their family continued solely because parents didn't want their kids to have it any easier than they had had.

Then there was time for their Craft and Design class - quite an interesting affair. Fíli liked working with his hands and those classes allowed him to expand both his skill and experience, as during practice they worked with all kinds of materials. His favourite was wood, but metals weren't half bad as well. Just for the previous assignment he did a wooden box, intricately decorated with small geometrical design. He was wondering if it suffice as part of the present for his mom, but decided not to dwell on it too hard as of yet, there was after all still a bit of time.

 

 

## Thursday

Alas, it couldn't have been avoided after all - of course this wicked girl from his class had to have a massive crush on his stupid brother and of course she had to corner him during the only longer break to inquire about everything concerning him. Like, seriously.

"So, what music does he like?", she asked with a sickening glisten of a stalker in her eyes. Kíli shuddered and answered, because what else was he supposed to do? She might murder him in his sleep, if he doesn't.

"Well, he likes hard rock and metal, I guess," he said, "But I don't know his favourite bands or anything like that!", he added quickly, before she was able to ask.

She was typing something on her phone, but looked at him, when he stopped talking. "Well, go on," she waved at him intrusively," What else does he like? Books?"

'Wait,' Kíli thought with incredulity, 'is she noting this down?'

Gods have mercy, a stalker. A real, proper, living stalker right in front of him. 'Not fun. Definitely not fun.' He will have to kill his brother because of his good looks. And mother, for good measure. It's all her fault, anyway. Who told her to make them like that? Who told Durins to be good-looking in general? Bugger it all.

Interrogation continued until the bell rang – the sweetest sound in his life, Kíli thought. Finally, he escaped from her claws with a very sound excuse of having a class that he couldn't possibly skip. Well, it was true after all.

Kíli almost run off, while she struggled with her bag. Freedom! Now he just had to find his brother and warn him against a certain female.

"Fíli, we have to talk," Kíli said with his most serious face upon finally finding his brother standing in one of the corners of east wing. Fíli was currently involved in an educational talk with yet another teacher on the subject of his hair - or more specifically, on the subject of it's lenght and keeping it tied in a bun. It was a frequently reoccuring discussion topic, so Fíli was happy to escape it. After all, quite vague explanations that he kept his hair this lenght due to some cultural reasons never came through well, but he never felt compelled to cut it - if his uncle can keep his hair long, then he can too, especially since his mother allowed him to.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Kellington, it's family matters, it's urgent," Kíli explained to the teacher as he pulled his brother away.

When they were finally out of Ms. Kellington line of sight, Fíli sighed and thanked his brother, which he waved off. He still had that serious expression though, so Fíli grew a bit nervous and asked what was going on.

"I came to warn you," Kíli said. Fíli frowned in incomprehension.

"There is this girl in my class, she is..." his brother made a little finger move next to his head, "About her crush on you, so you gotta be careful. I'm pretty sure she is a stalker, would you belive?"

Fíli could only blink in surprise. Not every day one receives such news, but nevertheless he promised to watch his back. 'A stalker, huh?' he thought, making his way to his next class, 'Here I was, thinking those things happened only in anime. Reality always finds it's way to surprise, in one or other way.'

***

"Thorin, brother, I love you and I need you to know that whoever you choose to spend the rest of your life with, I will accept them as long as you are happy," Dís informed him from across the hall.

He stopped in the midst of tying his hair. "What in the world are you talking about, woman?"

"About your date with this Mr. Baggins, of course," she raised her eyebrows pointedly.

Thorin eye twitched as he muttered to himself, "I'm going to kill those prying brats."

'Those prying brats' chose this moment to stroll into the hall, back from their classes. As they walked through the front door, Fíli and Kíli saw Thorin and both whistled. "Looking good, uncle!" Kíli cried. Suddenly, he stopped mid step as some thought occured to him. "Isn't today Thursday? Uncle has a date with Mr. Baggins!".

The lad walked closer to his uncle and patted Thorin's shoulder condescendingly. "I'm sure he will appreciate your looks, uncle," he assured with his most earnest smile.

Fíli barely breathed as he risked glancing at Thorin. 'That's it. Today is the day Kíli will get murdered because he can't keep his mouth shut,' he thought, 'From his uncle's hands, at that. It will be a legendary death. My brother, rest assured, for your memory won't be forgotten,' he mused to himself as he composed an epitaph.

Perhaps Kíli's lucky star was shining that day, for not only did he not die, he barely received a punishment at all - a slap on the back of his head can hardly be counted as one. Thorin sighed, his family really liked to poke their noses into wrong things.

His sister watched them with a warm smile, until she noticed the time and reminded Thorin that it's rude to be late on a date.

"It's a business dinner!", Thorin finally snapped, but, as Dís delightedly pointed out, the amount of time her brother spent in front of mirror that night would really beg to differ.

Thorin cringed, but decided he didn't really have time to argue anymore and simply walked to the door. He halted on the treshold and pointed his finger at his nephews. "You. When I get back, we are going to have a serious talk about keeping secrets," he threatend them and finally left.

"So. You told mum about uncle and Mr. Baggins and now he will make us dig our own graves," Fíli glanced blankly at his brother.

Kíli felt enough remorse to look cowed. Just a bit, but still.

***

That evening in Durin's estate was, well, full of poorly concealed zeal. Dís went around, frantically cleaning everything in sight until she remembered that new a episode of "Game of Thrones" was airing, so she sat down to watch it. Thorin will be unhappy he missed it, but he can always ask Fíli to download it for him. Plus, it gives Dís a very nice advantage - now she can annoy her brother with insinuations and stop midword, as if she suddenly remembered he was yet to know about it. She loved doing that, Thorin was her brother after all.

Both Fíli and Kíli were holed up in their rooms. Fíli already read the books and he thought the TV series was inferior in terms of plot, and Kíli was taking a nap with Spotty sprawled on his stomach. They did however emerge outside as they heard their uncle's car on the driveway. The time for proper "concerned" family interrogation came, at last.

There was a small smile playing on Thorin's lips as he entered the house, but it vanished without a trace when he saw three fearsome grins in the hall. Teeth uncovered in a threat, eyes glistening peculiarly in the dimness of the half-lit room, the small nervous twitch of the limbs wanting to reach out and rip apart - three predators were waiting.

Awaiting their prey.

A shudder went down Thorin's spine as he took in the sight of claws and fangs, lurking just beneath the border between reality and his imagination. He tensed, already fearing the first bite.

Mouth of the female predator parted, her offspring never leaving her back. Here it comes, sharp teeth and the flow of blood from his flesh ready to paint his skin in crimson.

"Pray tell, my brother," barely the scrape of sharpness, hint only, leaving faint red traces, "how was your evening?"

The sound that left Thorin's throat was a weak howl of cornered animal, but he was barely concious of it. Shadows moved around him, he was trapped.

Bugger it. Bugger it all.

A low growl filled the air. He won't give up without a fight, not just yet.

 

 

## Friday

Their uncle was still in his room in the morning, most probably licking his wounds - not literal, of course, it was rather the bruised sense of secrecy he was tending. Other members of Durin's household were, on the contrary, quite happy with themselves, including the cat. What feline would be unhappy, when given leftovers from grilled salmon served for dinner the night before?

Once her sons disappeared on the road, Dís herself started gathering things for work, but before that she prepared marinade for Thorin's favourite dish - meat in honey and mustard. They did after all get on his nerves quite a bit yesterday, he will be brooding all day. Perhaps good food will lift his spirits. Dís considered it a celebration of sorts, not every day does her brother find someone he liked and who (most probably) liked him as well.

She left for work before her sulking brother made his appearance outside of his room. Therefore she couldn't have any knowledge about a phone ringing and Thorin choking on his coffee when he took a look at the screen. She certainly couldn't have heard him replying anxiously to the call, "Hello? No, Mister Baggi... Bilbo, you didn't, I was just about to leave for work, please don't worry about it. No, I understand, your type of work... Weekend? Yes, of course, why not. If you could just name the place and hour... I will be much obliged."

She couldn't also see him cringing soundlessly at too much formality in his responses and the way his voice cracked slightly at the beggining. How pleased would she be, if she did know, oh how pleased.

***

Fíli was so engrossed in his book and the relaxing silence of the library, that his heart nearly leapt from his chest when someone's hands reached from behind and covered his eyes in a childish manner.

"Kíli!", he inhaled sharply. His brother laughed and sat in front of him. When Kíli's face suddenly turned gloomy, Fíli got worried, causing him to ask what was wrong.

"Ori has been avoiding me", Kíli sulked. "Like now - we always hang out during self-study and yet he disappeared right after previous class."

Fíli frowned, "Why would he avoid you? Did you do anything?"

"I don't know", his brother shook his head and rested it on his arms on the table. "I only did what you told me. When he asked about doing my homework, I declined. And he has been avoiding me ever since."

"Maybe you said something rude", Fíli sighed, "You know that your manners suck."

Kíli whined and hidden his face in the curve of his arm. "I only told him that I need to start doing it by myself or I will have trouble during exams."

Fíli looked down on his brother and reached out to pat his head. "There, there", he said, "I will talk to him if I see him."

"By the way, I have always wondered why you sit alone in the library all the time. Now I see", Kíli said. Fíli tilted his head in wonder.

"Because it's nice and quiet in here?", he suggested, but Kíli shook his head. "Because while we are sitting here, at least five girls have been checking you out, you sly thing, you", he laughed.

Fíli's astonishment reached heavenly levels. "What girls?", he asked and there was so much suprise in his voice that Kíli stopped laughing immadiately. "What, you didn't know? You're a heartthrob for half of the school." He smiled again, full of himself, "I'm for the other half."

Now that Fíli knew the truth, he has got some real thinking to do. Like all those girls asking him things. Huh. That would explain a lot, actually.

The brothers sat in silence for a while longer, when Kíli finally sat up and raised from his seat. "I'm gonna go and look some more. See ya later."

"Yeah", Fíli's full attention was directed at his books again and he barely noticed his had brother left. It wasn't long, however, before a small "hello" drew him back from reading again. Ori was standing a few steps away, smiling quite shyly over a stack of books in his hands. Still, he was much more resolute now than before, Kíli's influence, no doubt.

"Ori!", Fíli smiled as well. "My brother was looking for you, you know." He stopped, when he saw Ori's face dropping. "What's wrong?", he asked anxiously, "Did my dumbass brother do something, again?"

When the younger boy denied, with a bold "No!", hurriedly followed by quiet "it's nothing", Fíli was lost. Something happened, obviously, but what, that was quite a mystery.

"Whatever Kíli said to you, I assure you he didn't really mean it. He just doesn't think before he speaks, sometimes", he stopped, "Or always, while we are at it."

Ori shook his head and took the same seat Kíli did before. "Kíli didn't do anything wrong. I just thought that I'm diverting his attention from studying."

Fíli scoffed, "Don't worry about him, I'm pretty sure he won't pay attention to his studies either way." He sighed, "You know, it was me who suggested he should refuse your help with his homework. I thought he was using you and that is just unfair."

His friend looked up at him, "But it was me who offered him help. He never asked me to do anything beside explanations to some things he didn't understand during class."

"Huh. Then I owe him an apology, since apparently he is a better a person than I presumed him to be", Fíli mused. Ori sneered a bit.

"Ah! There you are! Ori!", sudden shout made them jump in their seats. Kíli looked really glad with himself as he walked towards his brother and his friend, but it was until he was stopped by a librarian on duty and given a whispered lecture about proper behaviour in library. His "sorry" was still audible in the whole room, though. Librarian almost hissed at him, before she waved her hand in resignation and let him go.

"I looked for you everywhere!", this time Kíli made sure to whisper. And if it was a stage whisper, surely we are willing to overlook that.

"Sorry, I had some things to do," Ori apologized. "By the way, I was meaning to talk to you about that presentation."

"What presentation?" Kíli's eyes went wide.

Ori sighed, "English. You know, the one about romanticism?" he had to elaborate, as Kíli's face was still blank.

"Must have fallen asleep when she was talking about it," Kíli didn't look even one bit remorsefull.

"Or you were playing on your phone."

"That's possible too."

"Anyway," Ori stopped that fascinating discussion, "we might as well start, since we are already in the library," he got up, pulling the scowling Kíli with him. They walked away, leaving Fíli to his own devices. He went back to reading, uninterrupted until it was time for another class.

***

It was suspicious, really.

The brothers eyed their uncle with uncertainty. They were pretty sure that after yesterday's affair of too much inquisitiveness Thorin will be sour and insufferable, but instead upon returning home they were greeted with a light smile. Fishy, without doubt. Even Thorin's favourite dish for dinner couldn't put him in such a good mood so quickly, yet here he was.

Usually their shared meal was a happy and leisourly carefree event, but as it turned out Dís had something different in mind, perhaps encouraged by the success of yesterday tormenting, today she chose her lovely sons as her targets.

Everything started quite innocently, with questions about school - those were loathed , but still properly answered. Then, however, Dís unexpectedly turned her attention from questioning Fíli's marks to Kíli.

"Kíli, my dear, do tell me. Is there anyone in Fíli's life I should know about?"

Needless to say, the last sentence sent every one else at the table straight into coughing fit, maybe beside Thorin, who was sitting in his seat with a smile of a very pleased cat, which only widened at the prospect of seeing his favourite nephews being questioned instead of him. What a fun dinner, indeed.

Kíli's eyes were going back and forth from his mother's face to Fíli's, panic clear as day. Fíli made a strangling motion with one of his hands, the one his mother couldn't see from her seat. He did have a secret Kíli knew about.

But will Kíli be able to choose between the wrath of his brother if he reveals what he knows and the wrath of their mother if she finds out he didn't quite tell her the truth?

Finally Kíli shook his head, "No, mom."

They didn't know if she believed, but she moved on nevertheless. "Fíli, then. Does Kíli has anyone like that?"

That went a bit easier, as Fíli quickly denied. Dís made a disgruntled, pouting face. "Boring. I had three boyfriends at the same time, when I was your age. Then there was this girl..."

A dinner full of surprises.

 

 

## Sunday

The morning started late for Fíli and Kíli. Yesterday was pleasureable, yet a bit tiring. Kíli had his violin lesson, Fíli kickboxing in the morning. After that they both tagged along to the fantasy convention. Kíli always said he only went there because he liked girls cosplaying as elves, but it didn't stop him from shooting a glance or two at other people as well and buying a bunch of posters and other merch. Fíli was wondering, just where Kíli was going to hang those since even his ceiling was covered. Dís made faces every time she walked into his room, but Kíli would do as he pleased either way.

They came home late and went to sleep pretty much instantly, after bidding their mother and uncle goodnight. Adults apparently planned to stay up and continue their heated discussion about yet another show they started watching well into night.

During breakfast they reported on what they did yesterday. Dís raised an eyebrow when they presented her with "GoT" poster, but thanked them sincerely. They were to find it hanged on the wall in her bedroom in a few days.

The rest of the day followed leisurely, as it was every Sunday in Durin's household. It was their very pleasureable custom to have a lot of time on their own on that day.

It was evening, when Fíli left his room with an intention of fetching a glass of water and some snacks from kitchen. Perhaps if he had waited another minute or two, he wouldn't even know his uncle left the house that day. But as it was, he stumbled upon Thorin fixing his pony-tail in front of the mirror. It wouldn't have caught his attention, if he hadn't been dressed so well.

"You're going out, uncle?"

Thorin froze with his hands still tangled in his hair. He shot back a slightly startled look at Fíli standing on the stairs and nodded. "Yes, I was just... going out to the pub. My friends from high school called and, yeah," he stopped lamely, as if not really certain why he was explaining himself.

"Have fun," Fíli said and went his way.

Thorin took the last glance at the mirror and grabbed his keys. By the time he was getting into his car, three pairs of eyes were watching him suspiciously from behind the window.

"Bilbo Baggins, who are you exactly and what are you doing to our uncle?", Kíli voiced the thoughts of the whole trio.

Three predators once again bared their teeth. Well, will it not be fun.

**Author's Note:**

> As a matter of fact, I'm now aware that "GoT" aires on Sunday. Welp...


End file.
